


Get Better

by SuddenlySullen



Series: Peter's Zune [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 12:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuddenlySullen/pseuds/SuddenlySullen
Summary: Peter is doing his best to get over everything that has happened, but feels like he's constantly falling short. He feels like he doesn't fit in anywhere after being gone for so long from his life as Peter Parker and never completely being embraced with the other heroes in his life as Spider-Man, since Tony wanted to protect him.





	Get Better

The music is low, signaling that the night is getting late. Looking around the room, Peter can see everyone else pairing off with those they’re closest with. At first, these nights together had been hard for everyone. There are holes in their lives that they’re still learning to navigate around, but for everyone else, it seems to have come much easier than for Peter. Clint is notably absent, choosing to spend his time with his family. Pepper and Steve sit at the kitchen table, both smiling warmly at each other. Peter still has trouble remembering that this Steve was Captain America. He thinks maybe the others do too, since they seem to keep their distance. But the holes seem to be closing up among them, for everyone but Peter. Peter stands on the sidelines, watching every week as the others move on more and more. A rough nudge of his shoulder gets Peter’s attention from zoning out, staring across the room. Sam presses a beer into his hand. He thinks this is the closest Sam has been to him since he threw him off a balcony.

“I think you’ve earned that.” Peter nods slowly as Sam talks to him. “Don’t tell Pepper though.”

Peter nods back. Sam pats his bicep before walking away to rejoin Bucky and Thor on the couch. He takes a sip of the beer. He’s not really sure what he expected it to taste like, but he expected it to at least taste good. He drinks it anyway, hoping maybe it will help him loosen up or lighten up or… something. Weaving through the crowd, he steps out onto the balcony of Stark tower. Looking out at the city, he fidgets with his web shooters under his sleeve. He wonders if anyone else would notice if he just swung away. He’s not really sure where he would go anymore. It’s been so many years, he isn’t sure he’s even welcome in his own city anymore. He wonders if anyone felt his loss like they’re feeling Tony’s now. The thought of Tony snaps him back to the present. Tears prick at his eyes and he can’t bother to stop them from streaming down his cheeks. He isn’t sure quite how long he stands outside letting the wind whip his cheeks before he hears the door open behind him.

“Apologies,” a voice speaks up from behind him. “I thought I could hide here. Seems I’m not the only one.”

Peter sniffles, trying to wipe the tears away as he stands up. When he turns around, he’s standing face to face with Loki. Loki looks him up and down. He can see the tear stains and redness of Peter’s eyes. 

“Sorry,” Peter swallows. 

Loki shakes his head. “No need.”

“I’m really trying,” Peter babbles. “I’m trying to pull myself together, but-”

Loki shushes him, coming to stand next to him at the railing. Peter turns around, staring down at the street again. Loki leans back on his elbows, keeping one eye on the doors as he talks to Peter. 

“Would you like to… Talk? Something doesn’t seem right.” The effort is clear in his voice even though he tries to hide it. Loki means what he says, though. He does care about the little Midgardian. He sees some of himself in him, all alone outside, crying while everyone else throws a party.

Peter lets out a wet laugh. “I should be over it by now right?” He looks over at Loki’s face, but doesn’t wait for a response. “He’s dead and it’s been months and everyone else seems fine, but I just can’t stop falling apart. I don’t know what else I can do. I’m really trying to get better. I need help. But the only person I want to ask isn’t here anymore.”

“Grief,” Loki struggles for the right words. “It isn’t something that gets ‘better’. Not really.” He winces at the look of unguarded terror on Peter’s face. “It gets different. We live with it every day, but some days we think about it just a little less. One day, you’ll cry and realize that it’s the first time in a week. Then a month. Then a year. Eventually, the day will pass and you won’t know until the next day.”

Peter nods. He thinks about when the last time he cried for Ben was and he  _ knows  _ that Loki is right. He wipes his eyes again, doing his best to make himself look mostly okay. When he looks up at Loki again, he looks different. Instead of his armor, he’s wearing a black sweater and slacks. His feet are bare. The most striking difference, though, is that when Peter looks at his face, Loki looks like he’s also been crying. His cheeks are sunken in like he’s forgotten to eat for a while and Peter knows his own look like that too. He knows because he sees the looks from May and his friends, though no one says anything to him about it. 

“We all hide sometimes,” Loki’s voice shakes when he looks down at Peter. “But I think, maybe, it’s time we both let someone in and admit that we don’t have to do it all alone anymore, hm?”

Loki offers Peter a hand, which he takes. Together they walk back into the tower. The lights are all dimmed, leaving the television to illuminate the living room. It seems everyone has cleared out except for Thor, who is still sitting on the couch playing Fortnite. His eyes flick away from the screen to Loki and Peter with their hands linked. Loki tugs Peter’s hand and they each take a seat on either side of Thor, resting their heads on his shoulders. Between games, Thor pats their hair and offers them snacks. It doesn’t feel better all at once, but Peter hopes this might be the first step to getting there. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic inspired by the song 'Get Better' by Scotty Sire (which is amazing and you should totally check it out): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai9OIVTSoS0


End file.
